Are You Stuck in the Happiness Trap?
In our modern-day world, where we have so much more than we used to, so why is it that so many people seem unhappy, unfulfilled and searching for something more?
‘How to be happy in life?’ is a highly ranked searched question on Google; people are literally searching for happiness and not knowing where to find it.
In our lives, especially in Western society, we tend to focus our time and energy on making our lives look beautiful on the outside. We focus on making our appearances look as good as possible; our face, our hair, our bodies. We spend time and energy making our surroundings look beautiful; our homes, our gardens, our environment…
When we are trying to fulfil our inner happiness solely through focusing on the outside, it can be a never-ending journey, and is ultimately a trap.
We very often attach our happiness to ‘things’, and feel when we get a certain thing, i.e.: a new car, a new phone, new trainers… THEN we will be happy. This is known as ‘object -based happiness’.
Although the experience of feeling ‘happy’ can initially feel intense, it is usually short lived. It wears off, often pretty quickly, and then we are looking for the ‘NEXT’ thing. This is even more true for those with ADHD, where low levels of dopamine can, if supported, lead to ‘coping’ strategies like impulse spending, rash decision making and even addiction.
Our beliefs about object-based happiness are created and influenced by our environment: largely modern-day culture and media. From a young age we receive messages that to be happy we need to look a certain way, wear certain brands, be a certain weight, have a certain job. And with that, we have stepped onto an endless treadmill on trying to achieve lasting happiness…
But even if you are able to achieve these things and feel happy about it, inevitably the feeling wears off after a day, a week, a month, sometimes an hour! and then the search for the next thing we need to fill the happiness hole begins again, and so continues our endless pursuit of the impossible.
This is to not to say that we shouldn’t have ‘things’ in our lives, but rather that our happiness is not ‘dependant’ on them.
Prompts:
Can we feel happy right now, if we have told ourselves we will only be happy once we have that thing in the future?
If we are putting our happiness on something that is often ever changing, and not in our control, how ‘in control’ of our happiness can we feel?
If we never truly feel fulfilled, always looking for ‘the next thing’, will we find the happiness we are looking for by just continuing in this way?
Could it be, that true, lasting, happiness, wellbeing and fulfilment doesn’t actually come from focusing on the outside? If this is a never ending, unfulfilled journey, could there be a different way to access the happiness and wellbeing we are looking for in our lives?